bitten
3:46 a.m. & 2007-11-23

Happy Thanksgiving.

Mine was completely uneventful. My mom, dad and I went to Ruby Tuesday's for yucky hamburgers.

The past few days have been rough. Thank you Chris for your kind note. Blaming myself has been my main course of action over this heartbreak. I keep thinking if I had done things differently, I might at least be left with happier memories of our tryst. If only I had just kissed him that night...he wouldn't be yet another notch on my belt, another loveless union. I can only hope that his memories of me are fonder, but I highly doubt that...I am just that girl, that girl in the three weeks he was broken up with the real love of his life. I can only expect regret and resentment.

I have spoken to quite a few people the past few days. I recently realized that I've had Chris blocked for quite some time. Upon unblocking him, he immediately IM'ed me, which was a pleasant surprise.

Unfortunately, I had to reveal my failure with Will. He...made a comment that was astute, but insulting. He noted that my romantic entanglements always seemed to end in such a manner. I replied insulted, but in the end, I know that he is right. I explained to him, though, that I am not one of those girls who needs a boyfriend of particular status to define her. This was of course, a direct undercut to his own new relationship. Of course, when he asked if I had anyone in mind, knowing that I meant his girlfriend, I pretended not to. In retrospect, I feel bad for even hinting to the allusion, but I can't lie--I really do feel that way.

Despite that, Chris was really nice. He said that we should definintely hang out over break, that he will have to show me his house once we get back to school, as I have yet to see it, and that it was great talking to me. So great, in fact, he was 20 minutes late to his plans. Afer any romantic entanglement, I find myself insecure and needing a certain amount of reassurance. My conversation with Chris gave me a bit of that.

I have also talked to Brooke and Aaron. Brooke is still stripping...as she called me drunk from the strip bar she works at. Don't you just love the range of my friends? One is a student at an Ivy League school and another is a stripper. It was an okay conversation. I told her that I am becoming a classier version of her. Kind of a mean thing to say, but true.

Talking to Aaron shook me a little bit. My readers may recall the problems we had a few weeks ago, after which I thought we'd never be friends again. Well, we have kind of sort of made up, but it is obvious things will never be the same. Also, I had to reveal to him my situation with Will, which was embarassing. He is dating the random girl he slept with on Halloween...and four weeks later, I am alone, AGAIN. I played it off, though. I refrained from revealing any of the nasty details. A diplomatic move on my part, I think.

Has anyone been watching Project Runway or Ugly Betty? Both are still AMAZING. I can't believe Sarah Jessica Parker was the guest judge on PR. I would shit my pants.

Here is to seven more weeks of break...

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