it goes on
6:33 a.m. & 2007-12-04

It is currently 6:33 a.m and I am bored out of mym ind. What better to do with boredom than write random, pointless entries?

I realized when going through my archives that readers really only get a glimpse into 5% of my life. I'll read entries and think about the things that happened that I didn't write about. I'll notice the gap between entries and think about the stuff I did in that time that was probably worth an entry. Which has led me to the conclusion that I really need to write more!

For example, I wrote about going to the Girl Talk show, but I never wrote about the deets. Which sucks, because that night really changed my night.

For starters, I saw Jason there. I met Nolan that night. And, I dirty danced with a guy who would later turn out to be one of Will's roommates (he also told me I had bad breath--seven beers and White Chedder Cheeze-Its will do that to ya).

I also didn't write about Spring Break, when I went to Philadelphia to visit my best friend and then to New York City to see Les Miserables on Broadway. The show was amazing, but being back in the city put me in a bad mood.

It's the little things like that that I wish I had written down. If you ever notice a long gap in writing, that usually means something bad has happened; ironically, I write less when I am seriously upset. A lot of people write about their problems in detail, but I find it too painful to write about something too soon after it happens. After the whole Will thing, I didn't write for ten days. Even now, I couldn't sit down and write about the situation in detail; hence why you often get short, terse entries void of any contemplation. The wound is still too fresh.

On February 2, it will be one year since I started this diary. So much has happened. I can not even begin to write about the changes that have taken place in my life. Whether or not they are necessarily good changes is still to be determined. A lot of good stuff has happened. A lot of bad stuff has happened. I've been surprised a lot. I've gotten what I wanted only to find out that it wasn't really what I wantd; I got what I wanted only to throw it away.

This entry really has no point. It is merely the musings and ramblings of someone who can't sleep.

I've FINALLY FINALLY decided what I want as my next tattoo! And, I've decided that I will get it in the next two weeks. I want to get 'it goes on' in cursive script with six stars underneath it. The 'it goes on' comes from the famous Robert Frost quote; �In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on.� That is about all I've learned about life up to this point. Other than that, I am absolutely clueless. All I really know is that, despite the obstacles of life, nothing can really end it except for death. So I've decided to commemorate this knowledge by having it forever imprinted upon my body.

I don't think I'll ever regret it. I already have one tattoo and I sometimes forget it is even there. Also, I am not big on regrets. I told Will that the night we slept together, and he said that everyone has regrets. I may regret things temporarily, but there is nothing I think about to this day that I wish I had done differently. So I can honestly say that I live with the minimum amount of regret possible for a person.

My toenails grow really fast.

Looking back on the night (something I shouldn't be doing), I realize that Will and I discussed quite a bit. And not the kind of stuff you talk about with someone you've been "hanging out" with for three weeks. It all leaves me wondering. Wondering about him, about us. Once again, things I shouldn't be thinking about, though.

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