Tonight was the worst night of my life.
I went to Jess's party tonight. Some guy tried to hook up with me, but I wouldn't let him. Then I hooked up wither another guy. I gave him head in an empty room, and he left me there in my underwear to go find condoms. He never came back.
I was and am completely trashed. I never want to be this bad again. Everything is completely awful. I wish I were dead. I took a cab ride home from Cincinnati to Dayton that cost me $100, but it was well worth it just to lay on the couch and not be there with everything that is plaguing me.
I am only 18 years old and I have made so many mistakes. Will I ever be able to redeem myself?