Blah day.
I slept through both of my classes, one of which I haven't been to in two weeks. Erk. I'll definintely go on Thursday.
Luckily I think my funk is over. Do any of you ever just get tired of being sad about someone/something? Ugh. What did I do wrong? What could I do better? What happened between us? But hes soooo sweet. I had such a great night. Blah blah blah. Seriously, don't fucking care anymore. It'd be one thing if we were really good friends, or we saw one another often, or if we worked together...but we don't. He doesn't have to matter in my life, so he won't anymore. Why should I care about someone who doesn't show me the same courtesy? See...it all makes sense when you think about how they did you wrong. Like Diana says, But I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong and I grew strong, and I learned how to get along.... I mean, why think about someone when I don't have to?
I think I may spend the next seven weeks in relative seclusion. I know that sounds dramatic, but I live a dramatic life...even my calm periods are done in some grandiose manner. I just feel really shitty about myself, to the point where I really don't feel like leaving my dormroom. Every so often I'll have days and weeks where I feel great about myself, like I deserve what I am getting. But then in weeks like this, I feel like SHIT. Ugly, stupid, unsuccessful. Can I even truly get a guy like Jason...who is quite possibly one of the most gorgeous people I have ever seen? I mean, I got him, but who would believe it? Maybe thats why I'm his secret booty call...
Ugh. Listen to me talk this way. Just ignore this. I'm PMS'ing.